I am leaving for España on Friday. Hmm. ¿How do I feel? Normally, I would probably be excited. However, I'm taking my GRE exam right before. So the excitement would be dilatory (GRE word: delayed). Also recently,I've been having surges of nostalgia for Malawi (lettersfromalawi.blogspot.com). It's been a year since my two month stay there and man, I miss it more than ever. The catalyst for this nostalgia: pictures that the new interns brought home.
Looking through the pictures reminded me of my summer there. The friends I made, the kids I played with. Ah, all the memories just came flooding back. And then I thought of why I'm going to Spain. To be completely honest, I was drawn to Spain for shallow reasons, the cobblestone paved roads, the floral decorated houses, the beautiful architecture, tapas and wine, siesta, the idea of me being in a beautiful foreign country. I guess they're not completely shallow because all those are part of Spain's culture. But, having relived Malawi through recent photos, I'm almost disgusted, repelled even, by my reasons for going, I could be going to a country where help is needed, and I would be there to help. I could be spending my time, serving, and loving others. Why in the world do I want to go to a country that's so rich in glamour.I'll be having tapas y vino while kids in Malawi can't even get a bite to eat. I'll be taking my afternoon siesta when kids in Malawi can't even sleep at night because of hyenas lurking outside their decrepit door. I'll be strolling down cobblestone pathways, admiring the beauty of it all while kids walk barefoot on dirt and rocky pathways. I'll be thinking of my next travel adventures while kids think of when their next meal will be.
Needless to say, I felt like a big fat hypocrite.
But then I realize, there are people to love anywhere in the world, whether children, teenagers, or adults. I guess it's just easier to love orphans that are desperate for your love. I don't know, I guess we'll see. I just want to be doing SOMETHING in Spain, helping others, not just helping myself. I emailed Inma, one of our program directors, about volunteer opportunities, and there are! I could work with children with autism, hospitalized kids, or teach English. I'm leaning towards kids with autism, after all, I did spend my whole last year working in the Autism lab. But who knows, I'm open to anything, really.
Right now, I'm just going to keep an open mind (and survive the GRE).
"A donde vayas haz lo que veas!"
