Teach for America

I'm in the process of applying to Teach for America. My admittance into the corps will be highly based upon my letter of intent. However, I've been slaving away this whole day on one question. ONE. The simplest, yet most difficult one to answer: "Why do you seek to join Teach for America?"

A multitude of reasons rush through my mind. Some completely sincere, others, not so much. I'm trying to express my own beliefs while at the same time, making sure it's in line with that of the program. Yet, I'm not so sure that it is...

Yes, I yearn to fight educational inequity by providing  quality education for underprivileged students. But, is that enough?

Through out my letter, I have found myself embittered by the system of our society. Through traveling and working in underdeveloped countries, I have seen inequity on a global scale. I constantly struggle to reconcile the differences between the privileged and underprivileged. Like many who have seen this unjust disparity, I am stricken with the question of "why?". Why am I so lucky to have been born here and not in some impoverished country in an uncivilized tribe? Why do I just happen to have a family that can provide for me? Why do I not have to worry about prejudice or racism? Why do I not have to worry about what food I'll have to eat or what I'll have to wear? The shelter that I'll stay in? Or if the water I drink will make me sick? Why? Why? Why?

For me, it's almost easier to leave for a new country and to adopt a new way of living. In fact, that was (maybe still is) exactly what I wanted to do after graduation. I am so sick of the USA. I've been harboring this bitterness towards our capitalistic, globalizing society where the poor have to suffer in order for the rich to maintain their comfortable lifestyle. I feel as if my heart is starting to harden. The last thing I want to do is to help feed children into this system.

I know I'm looking through very dim lenses coated with resentment. But when I try to look at the positive side, I feel a little fake.

But then I realized, it is so much easier for me to escape to a new country where I have no roots, than to stay rooted at home to untangle the mangled foundation from which our country stems. In other words, it's easier to solve other people's problems then your own.

So why teach for america?

When I went to Malawi, I saw for the first time, the incredible resilience that children have in the face of adversity. That life, was not fueled by bread alone, but by joy, hope, and love. With the tools and a bit of direction, kids can rise up against the odds and defeat the preconceptions that unfortunately come with their class and background. I want to instill in these children their worth, their priceless-ness despite living in a society where the value of anything is based on the value of the dollar. I want to create a secure environment where students are able to explore their true potential, a solid foundation on which they can build themselves. I want to give our future generation hope for their own futures. I believe Teach for America is that hope.

So there. Onto the next question.

España, una sueña

Tortilla Española con Salmorejo
al lado de La Mezquita.
Los alegrías simples de la ciudad.

It's been almost a year. A WHOLE YEAR. Since my study abroad in Spain. And it's only recently that I've been feeling nostalgic. I don't know if I'm having a really delayed reaction, or if it's because I've graduated and don't know what to do with all this freedom so I revert back to thinking about the times where I didn't have to worry about my future.

But when I think about Cordoba, it's almost like it was a dream; a very good dream. I don't remember exact certain events, but I remember the feelings. I'll look at a picture or read an old post, and the feelings start rushing back. Right now, however, when I read my old posts, it's almost as if I'm reading about someone else and their adventure. My mind, no matter how hard I try, just can't wrap around the fact that I did and experienced all those things.

There are certain things I do that, I guess, subconsciously make me feel connected to Spain. Well, first off, my facebook and google is still in Spanish (so was my phone, but I got a new one). When I'm thinking, I sometimes think in Spanish and I wonder how I would say random phrases. When no one's around, I talk to my dog in Spanish. I watch Spanish telenovelas. After I finish watching Friends in English, I'll watch it all over again in Spanish. I tried to implement siesta, but in this culture, it felt more like a waste of time. I know it's not much, and it may seem a bit silly, but these are the things I do to hold on to that memory of Spain.

I miss it, I really do. I miss the value in culture, architecture, art, history. I miss walking on cobblestone streets, through parkways and fountains. I miss meeting friends at the plaza, the tintos, cafe con leches, and the churros con chocolates. I miss this beautiful land, its people, and its language. I'm envious of my friends who are traveling or are preparing to study abroad. I wish I can go back and just relive it all over again. But I know there's more ahead of me. All I can do is treasure this memory in my heart.

Cordoba, como una sueña buena, pero dificil de aguantar...